There is a place. Like no place on Earth.

A land full of wonder, mystery, and danger!

Some say to survive it: You need to be as mad as a hatter.

Which luckily I am.

~The Mad Hatter

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Ramblings from Rosemary

Evolving out of the Stone Age

I finally broke down and decided it was time for a smart phone. Not because I really wanted all the cool technology but because I sent my ancient flip-phone through the permanent press cycle. Four days in rice and I was able to rescue the phone enough to use, but only when plugged into the wall charger.

OK, laugh if you want to. I know a few of you have similar horror stories of destruction.

I guess its time to step out of the stone-age and get new technology. I’m not sure why I need all that crap on a phone. Sure, it would be fun to quickly take snap shots of my friends, cats and culinary treats and share them on Facebook. But really, do I need a phone for that? I’ve got a little digital camera for snap shots. I prefer working on my laptop, after all, that itsy-bitsy screen is waaay too small for this old bat.

But texting will be much easier on a smart phone. I won’t have to hit the number keys multiple times for the letter. That’s cool.

OK I guess its time

The adventure begins . . .

I checked out online specials on iPhones and found a .99 special for an iPhone 4. So, I trot down to the Verizon store and explain to the 12 year old that approached me that I really wasn’t really to step out of the stone-age but I can’t fight progress any longer.

He tells me that they don’t have the .99 special but pulls out a chart of about 300 phones and costs. Then launches into a well-rehearsed pitch. Ninety minutes later, I walk out believing I just ordered a pretty new blue iPhone 5c for $61 and my monthly bill would only go up by $20.

OK I can deal with that.

But all that day I had this awful, sinking feeling in the pit of my gut. My husband and friends tried to reassure me that I was just a little afraid of new technology and I would learn it quickly.

The next day the new phone arrived, but it was late and I just opened the box, looked at the phone and said: Oooo, Pretty Blue then promptly put it back in the box. The next morning, I grabbed my coffee and the box, pulled out the phone and thought again: Oooo, Pretty Blue. I took out the papers and saw a bill for $548.

Five Hundred and Forty-Eight Dollars!!!

*#@& &#* %#&$ 

What happened to the $61 dollar phone???

Obviously, I had no idea what I just bought. Dinosaurs should NEVER buy new technology alone. I should have asked one of my niece, Mallory, to help me. After all, Mally worked for Verizon for a while and she is constantly on that device doing who knows what.

I am not ready for new technology.

I trot back down to the Verizon store, return the phone and got full credit back.

I am not ready for new technology.

My old flip phone still works . . . only when it is plugged into the wall charger . . . but it works . . .

I am not ready for new technology . . . yet.

Now, keep in mind we are in process of selling our home in Pittsburgh and moving to North Potomac, Maryland. Paul still is working in the Burgh till at least the beginning of December.

The adventure continues

The problems with my old flip phone didn’t get any better. I held out as long as I could. I talked with family and friends, got opinions from everyone!

I went on line again and found the same .99 iPhone special on the Verizon website. So we called Verizon directly and spoke with a pleasant representative. We ordered the iPhone 4s for 99 cents.

The next day, It arrived but was programmed with Paul’s number not mine. The representative assured me that was no problem and would be corrected upon activation.

So, I trot down to a Verizon store in Maryland. I was helped by an adult. A relic about my age. Imagine that! Told him I need to activate the phone briefly explaining the numbers mistake and I would need help understanding how to work the phone.

Two hours later, I walk out of the store and rush off to the grocery store. (God, I’m starving) When I finally get home I call my husband to update him. But when I dialed him I got directly into voicemail. I plugged my pin and got Paul’s voicemail.

OMG! That means they did not activate my phone number and Paul has no Phone!!!


So I trot back to the Verizon store (I am really starving at this point, but I remained pleasant) and they spend the next Ninety minutes correcting the phone number mistake.

Finally. It’s done. I have a new smart phone.

I first thought: Am I smart enough for a smart phone? But this auto correct feature has made many, many, many bad choices for me.

I don’t think this phone is smart enough for me!

Many of you know the horror stories about DC traffic and drivers. They are an understatement. It’s worse that anything you can image. Six lanes of really bad drivers. Some going really fast, others going really slow, the rest are cutting in and out really fast and really slow. It’s no wonder there are so many accidents on the Beltway.

I decided to take back roads to avoid sitting in that crap.

Anyway, my first night of driving home, I missed a turn. It was almost dark. I’m lost and alone.


Then I remembered: Oh yeah, I’ve got maps on my phone.

It took me about five minutes to figure out how to use it but it showed me the way home from where I was.

Technology is really cool.

I’m glad I finally pulled the trigger. It was time.